I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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