We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is wine microwaveable?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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