I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize