I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
