It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So many bounce houses so little time
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
