i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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