I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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