a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
