4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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