I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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