ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
