READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
