I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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