I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she told me i tasted like america
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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