FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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