it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
