I wannas sexs uuuuu
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Someone shattered a urinal.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
