oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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