Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
