But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize