Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Four minutes until I can fart!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
