Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
