ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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