All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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