I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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