Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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