I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
