He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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