I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize