Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
