i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
