That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
