And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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