why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
