this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
