last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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