I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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