I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
