their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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