ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
