I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
