u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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