Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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