the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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