sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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