i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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