i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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