That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
