whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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