so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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