I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
