I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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