bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
