whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
