he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
