i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
