You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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