is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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