He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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